Spyware Warrior

[scatamousche]

Suggestions for your "Out-Of-The-Office" E-Mail auto-reply:

I will be out of the office for the next 10 weeks for medical reasons.
When I return, please refer to me as 'Loretta' instead of 'Steve'.

I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.

You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from holiday on 18/4. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged £5.99 for the first ten words and £1.99 for each additional word in your message.

The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.

Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queueing system.
You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

Please reply to this e-mail so I will know that you got this message.

I am on holiday. Your e-mail has been deleted.

Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't bother to leave me any messages.

I've run away to join another circus.

[3162]

Funny enough, were it not for the fact that automated email replies only serve to validate an email address.
Thusly validated, the spam gets worse.

I like this sign:

"My credit manager is Helen Waite
If you want credit, go to Helen Waite"
_________________
Proud member of the Chest Zipper Club!

[suzi]

Hmm.... I wonder if I could get away with putting one of those on my office email? Might be fun.

I like this one: